I Can't Remember

  As a child I was disillusioned by the belief that if I wished hard enough, my stuffed animals would come alive. I especially wanted a certain little stuffed dalmatian puppy to be my very own real dalmatian puppy. But as hard as I wished - with all my might, even - nothing ever happened, and yet I still just kept on wishing.
  Then one day I got it in my little naive head that, Aha! They do come alive - when I'm not in the room! So after this I stopped wishing and resorted to sneaking into my room as quietly as I could to catch them in the act. Of course, this never worked; they were always too fast. Those little rascals.
  Some years later they came out with a movie about that very same thing - toys that "wake up" when no one is looking and go on adventures and drive cars together. Wow. I never knew my stuffed animals did that.
 
  I have many memories of my childhood. I mean, I should, considering I'm still technically young, and I don't have dementia. They haven't faded or diminished, although there are some things I'm sure I've forgotten about. But that's okay. Why be disappointed over something that I can't even remember I've forgotten?
  Sometimes, looking back, my childhood seems more like a dream than anything else. One of those dreams that is so realistic you have to sit and ask yourself if it really happened . Was I really ever a kid? Did we really have a dog named Cocoa and a no-name kitty who lived in our basement? Did my brother really tell me people were coming to take me and hide me in the closet? Some of life's toughest questions.
  But of course I had a childhood. Of course we had a dog named Cocoa, and the kitty - well, that I don't recall, but I saw a picture of me with a kitty once. And as far as the brother-hiding-me fiasco, well, my mom tells me she doesn't remember, but who's to say it didn't actually happen? Regardless, my childhood was real. Every single part of it, even the parts I don't remember. Like the kitty.
  People talk about their "first" memory as if it was the first thing that ever happened to them, or as if they're so sure it really was their first memory. How are we to know what we thought happened first really happened two weeks after some other memory? It's possible.
  I once questioned a friend on this subject of first memories. She told me that when she was two, her sister was born, and that's when her life began. Interesting. I don't know about you, but my life began when I was born and I still can't put a finger on a memory I would deem the "first." Life back then was a blur. However, I guess if you could beat one out of me, I do remember breaking my wrist when I was little; but even now all I really recall - all I can picture in my head - is my little hand stretching up into my mom's as she attempted to help me up from the floor so I could finish my breakfast. Or something like that. So I don't think that people remember things as well as they say.
  Or maybe I just have a bad memory.